As the depression fairy recently, that is the sound my wand makes as a spread horse poo and sadness around. HPATT!
I wrote a poem when I was going through some of the worst parts of leaving the mormon Church a decade ago. I felt like I was split in two from the trauma, and I’ve been feeling that way again, so I pulled it out. I lost me again This has happened before I…… Continue reading Poetry and Dualism
This last year has been… impossibly difficult for me. I was diagnosed with the same cancer that killed my mother, I dealt with fertility concerns, I went through chemo, surgery, radiation. I started a new job. I broke up with my boyfriend. This year has not been my favorite. When I was in the…… Continue reading Gratitude Journal
There is far less crying in cancer. You get time off work for cancer. Cancer is supposed to be a fight, but if you punch your ex, all the sudden it’s assault. Cancer has way better events: walks and 5ks and healing drum circles and free crafts. Where is my break up fun run for…… Continue reading Ten Reasons Why Cancer is Better than a Break Up
There are some fabulous quotes in “The Scarlet Letter” about pain. “In our nature, however, there is a provision, alike marvelous and merciful, that the sufferer should never know the intensity of what he endures by its present torture, but chiefly by the pang that rankles after it.” <— This is the best part…… Continue reading The Scarlet Mark
Natalie said I should try to get on the Moth Podcast with a 5 minute story. There is a live event in Boston about “Beauty” in a few weeks. Everyone with a story puts their name into a hat, and maybe you get picked and maybe you don’t, so I’ll probably go to several of…… Continue reading Moth Podcast
I hit my limit yesterday. So, my self image hasn’t changed from cancer. I think I am just the same as I was before all this nonsense. Sure, I was poisoned for four months. Then had the easiest amputation ever! Then went through the worst part of reconstruction (I hear) with the tissue expander. Then…… Continue reading Limitations
The pre-diagnosis was in a lot of ways worse than the diagnosis. When you get diagnosed, you know what you have, and you get a plan, with dates and goals and a definable awfulness. Before diagnosis, you just get to worry. My worst was the MRI biopsy. I was reciting Lady Lazarus in the MRI,…… Continue reading Wherein Lesley Makes an Unconvincing Plant