What the fuck do you think you are going to do without me: a boob necrology

You’ve been with me my entire life, but I never really noticed you until fourth grade. You and your twin got fat and wouldn’t leave me alone. I thought you were obnoxious, in the way, and ALWAYS getting in my way. Then DAD told Mom that she needed to control you better. DAD. I was MORTIFIED. So thanks for that.

 

I spent all middle school and high school alternating between trying to get rid of you and finding you marginally useful. It wasn’t your existence; it was your inability to shut up. You were always so loud and wanted to be the center of EVERYTHING. You wanted attention and you got it. But then I had to deal with the fall out. They called me Hootie McBoobin. Or Sex. Everything I wore was “too tight” because of you, even when I wore the exact same thing as everyone else. People would touch me because of you. Do you know how annoying that is? Did you start to hate me then, during those resentful years.

 

We had good times too. I got a ton of free stuff because you were there with me. Free drinks, help with heavy things, open doors. I even got a FERRY held up for me because of you. You get half the credit for the attention I get from men. Maybe … 1/5. I do have other assets, after all.

 

What was it that made you turn on me? Were you always jealous of your bigger sister? Did I not give you enough attention, hold you enough?

 

You know you can’t live without me, right? I will be FUCKING FINE without you. It will hurt a bit, leave a scar. But six moths after I cut you off, I won’t think about you. I won’t wish you and your irrational homicidal crazy back. But you… you are NOTHING without me. You have no future: just white hot pain and oblivion.

 

I won’t even ask why. There is no why. There is your illogical actions and me dealing with the consequences. There is no understanding how we got here. There is only moving forward. For me. Not for you. You are fucked.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s