Ten Reasons Why Cancer is Better than a Break Up

  • There is far less crying in cancer.
  • You get time off work for cancer.
  • Cancer is supposed to be a fight, but if you punch your ex, all the sudden it’s assault.
  • Cancer has way better events: walks and 5ks and healing drum circles and free crafts. Where is my break up fun run for the cure?
  • People tell you they are sick of hearing about your evil ex, but no one can interrupt when you are talking about chemo.
  • People praise you for being so strong through cancer, but with the break up, there’s more “Why were you with such an asshole in the first place?”
  • Cancer has perks like free weekend trips. Break up perks include more drawers. Yay?
  • Cancer has nausea medications for the retching. (There is also far less dry heaving in cancer.)
  • Everyone wants to help kill your cancer.
  • You get to poison, burn, and cut your cancer. And if you do it right, the cancer is dead when you are done.

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